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Saturday, May 27th, 2006
12:20 am - Moving journals
I haven't updated this journal in so long because apparently it's stalked by immature suckerfuckers. So I'm switching to a new journal that I'm going to actually keep up with. The new journal is:

eroguro_ningyou

Add me if you want to start keeping in better touch, I'll add you back. I'm not adding anyone on my own so it has to be an add from YOUR end. I'm just not in the mood to be drafting friends.

(Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Saturday, January 14th, 2006
11:18 pm - O.o HUH?!
Yeah...so...my mother is addicted to Katamari...and...I totally can't get to the PS2 now.

I'm still in this state of complete and total "WTF?!?!?!"

(1 Glitter | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Saturday, January 7th, 2006
10:25 pm - I'mma rockstar, don't fuck with me!
Yep, going to get that demo done finally. You know the one I was working on in October before all of that dumb shit went down? Shut up, yes you do. XD I just need to get the pictures from the photoshoot I did with Puckett back then sometime soon and then we'll be all good to go. ^O^V I don't know what exactly I'm going to put on this here demo yet...but I've got enough material that I've been working on that I think I'll be okay. I'm glad I waited a few months on it. It just really wouldn't have sounded too great back then.

Actually....

Note to self: buy a new microphone.

The humming from my laptop makes everything I record on my laptop mic sound so bleh. I really reeeeaaally want to practice and record things tonight but the grandparents are randomly over again and I don't want to wake them up. WTF is UP with old people and their getting to bed so damn early and then waking up so frackiten early too? Whatever. It just means I don't have to see them!

With people like Sean and Jody around, I think I can do this. XD Horaah for honest people with constructive criticism! I'm going to PWNZ0R the person that convinced me to work on my demo in the first place, though. Believe me, it is in the name of justice.

current mood: bouncy

(1 Glitter | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

11:26 am - Ha-ha-hardy har har
The fact that you think that I don't know something and thereby insult my intelligence by pretending like I'm some emo tard that's too self-absorbed to see anything is really...really...really...funny. XD At least I know my real friends know me better than that. Fuck, Bianca met me TUESDAY and she knows me better than that. :O Apparently a two week funk constitutes me being constantly depressed?

Huhmn. Interesting.

Anyway, time to go to work and toss shoes around. ^O^ Maybe Brandy will want to hang out after work sometime. Ooooooh~~ And anime night will start again this week!!! If anyone wants to come, I can give you directions!! Hwah~~~

Hwating, bitch! Hwaaaa-fucking-ting!! XD

current mood: amused

(1 Glitter | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Monday, January 2nd, 2006
5:53 pm - Babbley babble
I think I'm gonna run away to Orlando tommorrow. :P That is, if Kuri ever returns my call! RAWR!!! But all the schoolkids are going back to that school thing tommorrow so at least I don't have to worry too much about them wanting to hang out. Yaaaay...two days off from work. *doot doo doooo* ^O^ If you school children want to do something on Wednesday, that'd be cool though. I might be calling up Cas and David when I'm down there in Orlando. Who knows. We'll see what happens.

Appologies to anyone who was called when Moriah got ahold of my cell phone last night. I believe he said his name was Billy? ...Uhm...yeah. :X ...but I have his giant wooden stick for some reason or another. Do you think he wants that back? >.> 'Cause....I don't have any particular use for a giant wooden stick.

As for tonight, Ashton sent me a message and Puckett said something about a housewarming party or something. It is very very very likely, however, that I may stay in. This whole going to bed at 5am and waking up at 8am thing that I've been doing since Thursday has got me a little bit tired. ...so...vegging out with some video games might be a good idea for me tonight. ...whooooo knooows.

current mood: optimistic

(2 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Sunday, January 1st, 2006
10:04 am - New Year~
Happy New Year, you guys.

I hate to say it...but I'm rather miffed still this morning. Had I not completely blown off my mother and driven to the frickin' other side of town to the house of some person I don't even like....I would have had to spend the night by myself. But at least I DID do that and at least I was physically accompanied. Now, after Kira started being all over Matt and Danielle started being all over Jesse, all I wanted to do was run away. ...but then Ashton actually cheered me up by giving me smoke bombs and pulling me up a tree.

I've never actually been THANKFUL that Ashton was around. Had he not accompanied me home, I'd have just come home and cried for the rest of the night. I don't think any of my other friends could really see how important it was to me to just NOT be alone. And it isn't that I felt out of place, per say, at this party...but I was just starting to get a headache from all the screaming and kind of annoyed from all the running around.

But hey, it's a new year. ...guess things are pretty different this time around. Pressin' the reset button on my life as of last night. What that means, I'm not too sure yet.

(3 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Thursday, December 29th, 2005
11:11 am - The songs in my head
HEY FUCK YOU, MAN!!! DON'T MEAN NOTHIN' ANYMORE! FUCK YOU, MAN!!!

.....

Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who’s there

....

Over there stands my angry angel
And she’s shaking her head, in disgrace with me
Yeah over there stands my angry angel
And she’s frowning like hell, but I’m not feeling guilty

current mood: weird

(Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
11:16 am - Emo
The past..hm...two or three days or so I've been kind of fighting off this really annoying depression spell. Just because I thought that I'd finally done it...that I'd finally found best friends to be with and be happy with and never have to worry about feeling blah ever again. But after awhile I just kind of started feeling like the third wheel...just the other kid. The one that doesn't look as cool or talk as much or ever have anything interesting to say or do. I try so hard to just brush it off in light of laughing and playing but it keeps coming back.

I talked to Jody yesterday on my lunch break...so that was nice. It made me feel a lot better, actually. I played video games for like an hour after work too. That's always good for clearing my mind too. I was going to call Todd and see if he was going to be in town for New Years too...'cause that group of people sounds like fun right now. So does talking to Sean, 'cause he always makes everything seem better for some reason when I'm being a dumbshit.

nan nikkeoya: I always thought you were the most intelligent, talented and most wonderful person I'd ever met and you deserve every happiness.

Mrph. I wish it were true. Or at least that enough other people thought that too that it wouldn't matter if it were true or not. But I'm just going to have to be cool and fabulous all on my own. Hwah. And next semester's going to kick ass. Because I SAY it's going to. Maybe if I throw myself into work and school again, I won't have to worry about this...emo or whateverthefuckitis.

Oh...and to who doesn't know....my cell phone number has changed so if you want the new number, leave a comment or something.

current mood: blah

(5 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
1:49 pm - Blargh
Two more finals tommorrow and I'm done. Sleeping all morning wasn't a good idea...playing Magna Carta all night wasn't a good idea. I've been feeling a little bit emo since yesterday...but I've found that sleeping and Magna Carta does solve this ailment. I, however, must go to work until 10:30 tonight and thus have to skip anime night this time around...which means there shall be no Bleach for me until January. UNLESS I can get in contact with Todd before he goes back to Miami. :X Or unless Maiku happens to be in town and have his anime/computer not packed yet. Which would be the less annoying option AND the less likely. Grr.

Danielle: This is a reminder about Friday. -0-;; It IS happening. It MUST happen. I will flood your friends page with emo if it doesn't. :X

Everyone else: I've got tommorrow and Friday off~! ^O^ If you wanna chill or something, holla' at cho gurl! The furniture in my house has changed again. You should come see it? ...:X Or something?

Well...guess I should dry my hair and get to work now. As Jorge would say..."SHOES TEAM, AWAAAAAAAAY~~~~"

current mood: bored

(2 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
9:50 am - AGH
This entire final exam essay was a train-wreck. That's all I really have to say about it. It's the professor's fault for making it so damn tedious and...evil. I even felt the need to write an apology at the end for not really including any examples. I just...really didn't want to. I would rather play and nap and cause mischief. I s'pose I'll go turn this...thing...in...now. And go back to sleeping.

current mood: blah

(3 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Monday, August 8th, 2005
4:30 am - Venting
Sorry all I ever do with this LJ thing is bitch and moan but...well, that's what this doohicky is here for, isn't it?

Anyway, I'm feeling just a little bit emo today. Nothing world-stopping or anything but just this sudden lurking fear that I get every now and again. I've come to the sudden realization that the only thing that the next year or so has to offer is lonliness and the prospect of working hard to go someplace else. It wasn't so bad before, when Kira and I were hanging out all the time. 'Cause then at least I knew of SOMEONE that I could run to and hang out with and share this whole...college...thing with.

The majority of the group is heading a little further south. Another small portion is still over at GHS. And lord knows I'll never see my EHS friends ever again. That isn't to say that I don't know people who are staying in town. It's just that there isn't that sense of comroderie and companionship that we once had. There was something safe and secure in that,even when it finally whittled down to just Kira and I. And after Kira left, I had Danielle again...but in another week I'm losing her down the drain of IB. I've nothing against meeting people over at Santa Fe. But who would really care to meet me? I'm 17 and I'm graduating in the spring. Anyone that wouldn't CARE about my age wouldn't even have a chance to get to know me before I shove off again.

And then there was the fact I skipped going to AFO. Then someone having the audacity to IM me and say that he'd missed me there and then not bother to even speak with me. Yeah? Psh. How am I supposed to believe you when you say you give a damn if you don't talk to me even when I make an attempt to talk to you. That's BS right there. Too busy collecting MySpace friends and telling random girls how much you love them, huh? Not like you'll read this anyway. :P Maybe it was a mistake to choose DragonCon over AFO. But you know what? I'm not going to let it bother me. I'm going to have as much fun as I can at DragonCon because I won't have to deal with the sort of shallow and wholly boring people a lot of my con friends have become.

It's not like I don't know anyone here. Everytime I go out I run into people I know. When I was at the mall with Bob I ran into like 8 people right there. Today I just went to the video store and the Publix and I ran into 5 completly different people. I went to the movies with Danielle awhile ago and ran into a bunch of people that day too. I know all these people and I see them when I'm already doing something but where are they when I need something to do?

I was feeling really refreshed and cheerful after the trip to Philadelphia and registering for courses and planning the next three years. Now, I'm not so sure. It's this in between portion of my life where I'm just kind of hanging here with nothing to do and no one to do it with. I've still got another few months before I turn 18 and I can at least go downtown and participate in the debauchery and pointless frumping around the local clubs that people around here seem so fond of doing and making a point of rubbing in my face.

"Oh hey Jess! Wanna go--...OH NO, you're not 18 yet! Sorry. Nope, can't do anything with you for another few months. You're officially a loser until then. Byebye now."

Have fun with the debauchery. I'll be here with my tiddlywinks and sidewalk chalk. Lord knows I can't do anything else. I'm just a child. :P

current mood: weird

(6 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Sunday, July 10th, 2005
6:53 am - Aaghahrgh
For those of you that have my MySpace, you'll know already that I'm a complete and total dipshit as of today.

For those of you that have my phone number...call me...I don't think I can really vent about it here.

For the shiny people in my life: ...anyone wanna go out for sushi or somethin' on Monday? Better yet...PNN? Something? Anything?

current mood: crushed

(5 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
4:21 am - New summer revolution
Okay. So check it, guys. When I SAY I'm comming back to LJ this time, I totally mean it. Going to do a total layout revamp, friend's list cleaning and complete CHANGE to this monotonus shadow of my former life. Today's PNN and subsequent reunion with the world of fabulousness has become more to me than the swimgear and glitter that is to come. It is a revolution!! I'm leaving behind all the things I hated about myself...but not without one last shred of emo at the very end of my day.

Within the past...oh, little while, I've no idea when this complete foolishness decided to occur, I decided that I like someone. Like...like them. And you know how this always goes with me. "*shuffle, mope, angst..etc*" on constant repeat till the aforementioned person hooks up with someone that (SURPRISE) isn't me and makes me more miserable than I was in this viscious cycle of poopoo. (I'm fabulous now, I can say things like poopoo). In any case, I like this guy. He's far away. It sucks. I have this weird feeling that if I begged him enough and beat him over the head, he'd like me too. Maybe even the same way I like him. But...we're far apart. With no way to get back together. But see, the NEW me that's trying to break out is totally all for holding a stick to a friend's head and making them DRIVE several hours just so I can be selfish and see this aformentioned male being. The new me ALSO wants to just sit down and tell him seriously about this instead of joking and flirting and hinting. That way, I could be spared a long trip and the looming DOOM that would come with the everso possible "I love you but only as a sister" sort of thing. I would also have several months to suck it up and get over it and move on with my life instead of this "what if?" stuff. I think what bothers me is that I just want a CHANCE, you know, to screw it up as I so please. "What if?" is too ambiguous and not snuggly enough. But my former self...the shy, nervous me is keeping my new self from accomplishing this.

I totally need some help in this, the last clinging bit of ANGST in my life. If I don't get rid of it soon I'm going to just fall over and become some sort of LOGGER-BLOGGER. Don't want this blog full of ouchie splinters, now do we? Too much yeek and not enough GLITTER.

Oh Skraut, show me the way to the glitter pool? This morose foolishness is SO last year.

current mood: mischievous

(6 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Saturday, June 18th, 2005
1:00 am - My manga??
I was just cleaning my manga shelf and I was just wondering if anyone knows the whereabouts of two of my Japanse manga...Yamato Nadeshiko #1 (I only have the Englsh one...) and Yami No Matsuei (I forget the number but it's the only one I had)...thanks!!


Edit - Nevermind on the Yami No Matsuei, it was hiding in another bookcase. Still don't know about my Yamato Nadeshiko and it's been missing for quite some time now. Bill's pretty good at giving stuff back...uhh...Jenn, maybe? And speaking of Bill...I've got a stack of about 10 of his that I need to give back...uuhhhmm...yeah....

(5 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Sunday, June 12th, 2005
2:07 am - Blaaaaaaah
I really should update more....I just never really know what to talk about on this thing anymore, I guess. But just a few minutes ago I came to this sudden realization that I'm really crazy lonely. Maybe it's just because it's summer and I'm not out with people that much, I dunno. I just know it's been almost a year and a half since I've had a boyfriend. If I'm as pretty as people tell me I am, why is that true?

It's probably just that I haven't been out of the house in a couple days. I mean...just the other day I was in Orlando buying myself a cute new outfit and hanging out with David at his job and eating lunch with him at one of the Vietnamese restraunts in Colonial Drive. Monday I was out with Kira and Bobby...and I think that's when this silly thing started. It was just on hiatus for a couple days in the face of old friends and yummy food. See, 'cause Kira walked right up to this guy that she liked at Borders and instantly got his number and everything. I didn't really think he was cute in any way...but I guess I was just really jealous and sad because well, frankly, it wasn't me.

I'm such a brat, though. I should feel special that Grant calls me every single day. Me, his ex. But...I don't answer because sometimes I'm in the middle of feeling sorry for myself or I just don't feel like watching the money on my phone dwindle away anymore since I've only got like $5 left on it. I used to feel special about the message Cas left me on my myspace but I don't know if I do or not anymore. He's got all these gorgeous people as friends, he probably just left that because he felt sorry for me that no one left me any comments on my pics or something.

And I know that David said that I would do well as a model...but when I was standing there in the place where he works and I was looking at the pictures of all the people on the wall behind him and the guy and the girl that walked in...how could I feel anything but insignificant?

I swear I'm not as angsty as I seem. I just have to vent every now and then. Just give me a day or so and it'll be back to video games and food binges.

current mood: sad

(16 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Saturday, May 21st, 2005
11:19 pm - I met my childhood hero!!!!
You may ask "Huh? Who? Kenneth Branaugh? Marilyn Manson? Albert Einstein?"

No, my friends. Someone far, far better. Someone sexier, more talented, more evil and wonderful than you could possibly imagine....BOBA FETT. YES! BOBA FETT, I SAID!!! While the rest of you sillies were standing at the box office watching crappy costume store Darth Vaders, I was at MGM Studios with a movie-quality BOBA FETT. While I may come across another Fett at DragonCon this year, I highly doubt he will look at me in such a way through that pretty green Mandalorian helmet. He even had a rocket pack and a blaster. Again, movie quality. Of course...'twas Disney.

....yeah, shut up. When you have a picture of someone on your closet door for 8 years of your life...you're pretty damn happy to meet them too. EVEN IF they're a fictional sci fi bounty hunter.

Oh yeah. I also met yoshino23, even if some of my first words to her were "*GLOMP* HI! I MET BOBA FETT!!!" And the rest of the day also consisted of Chinese food, playing around at Epcot, Hello Kitty, fruit and finally carrying out one of my threats at Carlo -- which was, this time, squirting him with water. He dashed off and Sarah ran after him but I couldn't be mad at her. -0-;; And I also saw the Seven Dwarves. And a CLONE...and CHEWBACCA.

Disney...for the first time since I was like 10 years old...made a dream of mine come true. *_____* This SO tops seeing the president. Sorry, Dubya, you just got shafted by Fett.



Sorry if this clutters your friend's page...but...COME ON, GUYS, IT'S BOBA FETT!!!

current mood: bouncy

(6 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Thursday, May 19th, 2005
3:16 pm - SCHOOL IS OVER!!!
My last day of free school!!! AHHHH!! It's all over~!! PUAHAHHAAHAHAHA! I ROCK!! BOO-YA!!! Graduating in about 2 weeks...and tommorrow, when everyone else is working hard at school...I'll be sitting on my butt, sleeping in and going to see movies. :PP

Whooot. Left today after Owens made his amazing speech...gave him a hug and then hopped in Aly's car and sped away to Guns N' Roses. Hells yes. ^^

current mood: cheerful

(11 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Sunday, May 15th, 2005
8:56 pm - Long-awaited update
So here is is. Two finals left, my last week of school. I just finished writing one Valedictory speach...I'll do the other tommorrow. After browsing my friends list and pages upon pages of people I just don't know anymore...I was half-tempted to post the regular angst on that subject...

....but then I thought back to the speech I just wrote, to my upcomming graduation and the life I have so free and open before me now. There's no use regretting anything so petty anymore. Yes, there are people that I was once close to and now I know longer even know...but that's life. I'll meet new people, it just won't matter anymore.

But the one person that can't stand to lose is Cas. Even though we barely spoke for a year, even though we still don't really talk all that much...I still go through things and think "Yeah, Cas would understand this situation" or just randomly out of the blue feel like talking to him. He's probably going to think this is really weird and creepy but I don't know, he's just someone that I feel completely comfortable being around. I miss the times when he lived here at my house every weekend...and I actually do regret that we didn't spend more time when we had it just sitting around and just...living. Instead we wasted that moment in time we had when we truly were like brother and sister on stupid things. Well, I guess they weren't stupid back then.

I've been thinking a lot about fate and destiny. That's why I'm just accepting things as they come now. I'm constantly with Kira but we wouldn't have even met each other if I hadn't been pimping out fortune cookies for Asian Club and she hadn't been hawking newspapers at the 8th grade orientation. We've spent less than a month together and yet it's seemed like we've always known one another. It's a lot like the bond I once had with Danielle. Every now and then I'll be laughing and dorking around with Kira and I'll just stop for a moment and think "Man, I wish we could steal Danielle and take her with us...". But...she lives on the other side of town from us and yet it still seems like she's half a world away. When I was with her at prom it just seemed like she wanted nothing more than to be with someone else. I felt like crying...but Chu was there to hug me and cheer me up...and I knew that before I knew it, I'd be booty dancing at my own prom and watching Chris and Sanford have a Westside Story meets Michael Jackson dance fight in the middle of the dance floor.

I'll honestly miss my school. I honestly miss a lot of people from my past...

...which reminds me...I'm going to DragonCon...everytime I think about it, the first thought that comes to my mind is..."Will Christina be there?"

This entry could go on forever. I'll quit now. :P

current mood: pensive

(9 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
7:18 pm - MegaCon Pics
After MegaCon on Sunday I think I'm getting my self-esteem back a little bit. ^^ So all of a sudden I want to like...update LJ and start keeping in touch with people again. You know, since I'm not all shitty and ugly anymore, apparently. I swear like 283029032 people took pictures of me on Sunday but I don't know if I'll ever be able to find any. Grr. Maboroshi took like...one. Here's the two from my camera.



Took this in the car, it was really blurry and stuff because the car was moving. This was the best I could make it. :/



I met this big robot dude, he was pretty cool. He wants me to send this pic into their site but I don't know, the person that took it obviously didn't know how to work a camera.

I'll scrounge around on the internet and see if anyone else got pics of me. Whee, mission!!

current mood: bouncy

(12 Glitters | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

Friday, February 25th, 2005
10:41 pm
http://omega.med.yale.edu/~pcy5/flash/nanaca_crash.swf <--- crazy schoolkid flash game. XP

current mood: amused

(1 Glitter | Sprinkle Some Starshine)

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